My Fear Landscape: Acknowledging My Worst Fears

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A few months ago I came across a book. Divergent. In the book, it discusses our greatest fears and how to break free of them. By injecting a special serum, the character’s fears play out in a series of hallucinations. Once they overcome a fear another hallucination materializes. This continues until you have conquered ever single fear you have bringing you back to reality. This is known as a fear landscape. After reading the series, I came up with my own fear landscape.

1. Presenting – I hate presentations. Apparently I do really good with them but getting in front of people makes me freak out. My whole body starts to sweat and I talk really fast. I think I might be getting over this fear because I just did a two hour presentation a few weeks ago and did great. It might have been because I freak out the night before scaring my roommate half to death….. but that’s not the point.

2. Driving In The Middle Of Nowhere And Getting Lost– I think this one pretty much explains itself. I have had this one since I was really little and is probably the worst fear I have. Of course, this happened to me not too long ago making me realize it is okay to be afraid of this one.

3. Things With Multiple Tiny Holes– I know this sounds strange but stuff, such as wood, with deep tiny holes close together gives me the creeps. I have no clue why but I can’t stand it. I can’t even look or touch whatever it is without freaking out. My best friend also has this fear so at least I am not the only one.

4. Hospitals– I know a lot of people don’t like hospitals But it gets really bad. I start hyperventilating and my blood pressure skyrockets. This happens every time I walk into the hospital…. even if I’m there to visit.

5. Native American Music– I don’t want to offend anyone with this fear because I know it is cultural but the music is really intense. I feel like something is coming down upon me and I can’t shake it. My roommate even shares this fear with me.

6. Crying– I never cry so when other people start to cry I sprint for the door. I’m not very good at comforting people.

7. The Elderly – I know what you are thinking. ‘But what’s wrong with the elderly?’ I don’t have an answer for that. All I know is that I hate being around old people. My grandparents and family friends are exceptions to that, of course, but if they aren’t either one of those you won’t see me around them.

8. Vacuums– Vacuuming is probably one of the easiest chores because all you’re doing is pushing a machine around while it picks up everything for you… but I hate it. The noise that comes from the vacuum terrifies me. I literally have to mentally prepare myself before I do it. Sometimes it takes me an hour before I get the nerves to even plug the thing in. It’s awful.

9. Pain– nobody likes to feel pain mentally, emotionally, or physically. I can deal with the mental and emotional pain just fine but when it comes to physical pain I’m done.

10. Talking On Phones – This is another fear I have to mentally prepare myself for. I can talk to people I know just fine but when it comes to calling/talking to strangers over the phone I get all nervous and start to panic. I never know what to say. Ugh.

So those are my fears. I know that they are strange and weird fears to have considering most people are afraid of spiders, snakes, or heights. For fun, I thought I would put them into one large fear landscape…..

I stood in front of the class. I could feel the dripping down my neck. I hated presenting. I flipped to the next slide which contained a short video I made. I was alone, driving in the middle of nowhere and by the looks of it I was lost. I was looking at a map trying to figure out where I was going when I hit something. I got out of the car to make sure it wasn’t an animal. But to my dismay, it was an old log with tiny holes scattered throughout and it had punctured my tire, leaving me stranded. I decided to abandon my car in hopes of finding someone to help. I stumbled upon an old broken down hospital and made my way inside. Native American music playing overhead was drowned out by the crying seeping from the rooms. I looked to my right, an elderly couple sat patiently waiting for a nurse or doctor to walk by. To my left, an old-timed janitor was vacuuming the lobby carpet. I could feel the pain of the people who had come in and out of this place. “Kali,” I heard a voice call my name. I looked up realizing the receptionist was focused on me. “It’s for you,” she held out the phone for me to take. 

And there we have it. All my fears in one creepy story. Let me know what weird/strange fears you have!

 

 

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